After a week when a young contestant on Couples Come Dine With Me was making Beef Wellington – which, she claimed, was named after the Grand Old Duke who marched 10,000 men to the top of the hill then marched them down again! – Real Mallorca dropped into the relegation bottom three of La Liga on Monday night when fellow strugglers Getafe drew 1-1 away in Girona.
It’s a case of “let the relegation battle begin” and the fight starts on Monday night (February 2) when a resurgent Sevilla side are visitors to Son Moix, kick off 9pm. The Andalucian outfit are in the process of being taken over by an American investment group with co-ownership from ex Real Madrid, Sevilla and Spain defender Sergio Ramos. Ironically the Sevilla game kicks off (and finishes) just before the winter transfer window closes at midnight.
With sides round-about us picking up points and Mallorca losing 3-0 against a half-speed Atletico Madrid, the writing was on the wall. Losing in Madrid was within our expectations but the manner of the defeat was truly dreadful. We managed only one shot on target and barely threatened Atleti’s goal. Our defence was all over the place.
Football is about goals and Mallorca’s only hope of creating danger last Saturday was to hope for the occasional cross for Muriqi and maybe get a lucky break. God only knows what happens if “El Pirata” picks up an injury this season and can’t play. He’s already going to miss two games at the end of March when he turns out for Kosovo in World Cup play off games.
Real Mallorca’s relegation picture has shifted from a worrying threat to a full-blown crisis after last weekend’s results. It’s going to be a “Battle Royal” for survival as half of La Liga are still not safe.
Only five points separate 10 teams from Real Sociedad on 27 points in 8th place and Getafe on 22 in 17th place. With 17 games left on the calendario, battle lines are drawn as, for us, desperation sets in as we wait to see which three sides will sleep-walk into the Spanish second division. After last Saturday’s capitulation, the La Liga fixture list paints a grim picture for us diehard Mallorquinistas. February’s schedule is brutal as we pray for a miracle.
We face the most difficult away game so far when we visit the Camp Nou (on Saturday, February 7 at 14:15) to face a Barça side that hasn’t dropped a single point at home (10 games, 10 wins). We then have two fixtures against teams who are in the top half of La Liga and playing in the Europa League – Betis (H) and Celta Vigo (A), dates and times to be confirmed. Match 26 sees Real Sociedad come to Palma. They were struggling at the start of the season then changed their manager and have won three games on the bounce, and are
unbeaten in five.
It’s going to take a monumental turn around, and a lot of luck, to arrest the slide and avoid another drop from top flight Spanish football. Relegation from La Liga would be a financial catastrophe. Clubs must cut their cloth accordingly. Costs would be cut drastically and up to 70% of staff would lose their jobs. There would also be a mass player exodus plus TV revenue would plummet. Even the thought of relegation sends an icy chill through the bones of Mallorca fans. We have 17 games to save our season, otherwise we face an unbearable prospect.
Mallorca’s manager, 47-year-old Jagoba Arrasate’s situation is precarious and a poor result on Monday would surely see his demise – or will it? The hierarchy planned to hold on to him until May and then activate the clause that allows the club to terminate his contract for the final year – a scenario in which practically no one believes any more.
The Basque is the 10th Euskadi coach to be in charge of Mallorca, eight of the previous nine were sacked and the ninth saw the team relegated. There seems to be a curse on Basque managers at Real Mallorca, and not a single one has managed to succeed so far. Mallorca have limited money resources in this transfer window. Director of football, Pablo Ortells and his team, continue to look for new attacking options. All the deals he had in mind have fallen through for financial reasons.
One player’s name that came up on social media this week was 22-year-old winger Romaine Mundle who’s on Sunderland’s books. He’s missed most of the season so far with a serious hamstring problem. Let’s hope he’s not another one of our winter “duds.”
AND FINALLY, The Irish Christening
Paddy’s pregnant sister Colleen was in a terrible car crash and was put into an induced coma. After nearly six months she was wakened up and she found that she was no longer with child.
Frantically Colleen asked the doctor about her baby. He told her “You had twins, a boy and a girl, they’re both fine but they were poorly at birth. They had to be christened immediately so your brother Paddy came in and named them.”
Colleen asked “Oh suffering Jesus, not Paddy me brother, he’s as tick as two short planks, break it to me gently, what’s my daughter’s name ?” He told her “Denise.” She was relieved that he’d chosen a sensible and beautiful name. Thinking maybe her brother wasn’t such a numpty after all, she enquired “What’s the boy’s name ?” The doctor replied “Denephew!”