After a week when, in Seattle USA, a man died after falling into a giant coffee vat – his wife told reporters he didn’t suffer, it was instant – Real Mallorca make the short trip over to Barcelona where they’ll play the La Liga leaders tomorrow (Saturday, February 7) at 4:15 in their (almost finished) Spotify Camp Nou stadium. With Barcelona unbeatable at home, it’s going to be a tough watch for Mallorca fans as in reality all we can hope for is a draw.
Unlikely to be part of tomorrow’s squad is our Japanese winger Takuma Asano who has yet another hamstring problem. After a promising start to his Mallorca career two years ago, the 31-year-old has become injury prone and any chance he had to get a contract extension this Summer seems out of the question. He’s gone from being only able to play for an hour to barely make it past half time.
Another player causing selection problems is central defender Marash Kumbulla who’s on loan from Italian club Roma. In his short spell here he’s spent more time on the treatment table (again with hamstring problems) than he has having minutes on the pitch. The big question these days is just why there are so many hamstring injuries in the modern game? A case in point is Jude Bellingham who pulled his hamstring running after just 10 minutes last Sunday for Real Madrid and is expected to be out for at least a month.
Mission accomplished could be the headline after Real Mallorca beat Sevilla 4-1 last Monday night. The team passed one of the first tests of endurance they will have to face to keep their place in La Liga. Beating Sevilla (now a shadow of the team they used to be) was non-negotiable. Escaping the relegation zone before the Barcelona fixture on Saturday was a must, it was a great victory for hope. Incidentally, the last time Mallorca won 4-1 at home was against Valencia in January 2022 when Vicente Moreno was coach.
POOR TRANSFER WINDOW
With most clubs there’s a buzz of excitement when the January transfer window opens as it’s an opportunity for them to make adjustments and address weaknesses. Unfortunately all this excitement doesn’t seem to have reached Real Mallorca’s sporting department as our Winter window has been another disappointment with one signing (for the future) and another last-minute addition of whom nobody’s ever heard.
The common denominator for most clubs in Spain is the lack of financial resources heavily constrained by La Liga’s salary cap. Most did their business early and got who they wanted through the door.
Not Real Mallorca, where many names were discussed but any deals fell through one after another.
Last week we signed a 21-year-old French player called Justin Kalumba, who even at a young age has played for the French Ligue 1 side Angers and has been capped for the French Under 19s. Our coach described him as “the future.”
I don’t understand why this young man can’t get some game time NOW not in the future. Fans want to see Kalumba who’s been described as a tricky, pacy winger who is an eager assister and scorer – get him on the pitch! The next signing is what can only be described as an enigma. He’s a 23-year-old Angolan (although in his pictures he looks a lot older) winger/striker, called Zito Luvumbo who comes on loan from Italian side Cagliari where he’s been for five years. He is a striker who hasn’t scored a single goal this season nor has he been involved in a single assist. I wonder if he’ll make his debut tomorrow against Barcelona?
One player who Mallorca nearly signed was a Norwegian, called Andreas Schjelderup, from Benfica. The 21-year-old wanted to leave in search of playing time, something we could guarantee him. Schjelderup scored two goals in the recent defeat of Real Madrid in the Champions League. With the last kick of the game, the Benfica goalkeeper scored the winning goal. Their manager Jose Mourinho vetoed the Norwegian’s departure after his stellar performance. That meant Mallorca missed out on who could have been a real asset.
AND FINALLY, Maria had just got married and being from a strict traditional Italian family, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. “Don’t worry, Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you.” So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and said, “Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a big hairy chest.” “Don’t worry, Maria,” said the mother, “all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He’ll take good care of you.”
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. “Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he’s got hairy legs!” “Don’t worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take good care of you.” So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. “Mama, Mama, Tony’s got a foot and a half!” “Stay here and stir the pasta,” said the mother. “This is a job for Mama.”