After a week when the authorities in Pisa, Italy, have decided to put a clock on their famous leaning tower – after all, what’s the point of having the inclination if you don’t have the time ! – Real Mallorca have made their worst start to a La Liga campaign for 20 years. They find themselves rooted to the bottom of “La Primera” on goal difference alongside Real Sociedad, both have five points (out of a possible 24) from eight games.
The present situation on and off the pitch is alarming and we haven’t posted such poor results since the 2005/06 season. Back then the coach was Hector Cuper who was in his second spell after working miracles with a limited squad in 1998/99, getting the team into the Spanish cup final and the last ever European Cup Winners Cup final at Villa Park. Things didn’t work out for Cuper second time around and he did the honourable thing and walked away in early 2006.
Gregorio Manzano, another managerial legend at Real Mallorca, took over the reigns and kept the team up. Our survival was possible thanks to three January transfer window signings, Portuguese centre back “Popeye” Nuñez, Greek midfield Angelos Basinas and Argentinian striker Leonardo Pisculichi. All three became key players for Mallorca, especially Nuñez who went on to make 258 appearances. These guys were in the Mallorca team that famously beat Real Madrid – which included Beckham, Ronaldo (the goofy one), Roberto Carlos and Zidane – 2-1 in Palma in the pouring rain in 2006. Mallorca finished the season in 13th place, proving that footballing miracles can happen. Fast forward 20 years and after eight games Mallorca are again “rock bottom,” the main difference between then and now is that in 2005/06 we had better players and a better manager.
A few of our present squad are not up to La Liga standard. Beyond the deficiencies of the squad, the internal conflicts that started during the Super Cup in Saudi Arabia have never gone away. The serious problems we had with some squad members during the second half of last season weren’t rectified during the Summer transfer window. The win over a poor Alaves side three weeks ago papered over the cracks and we are seriously RUBBISH !
Coach Arrasate looks a dead man walking. Pictures emerged of him sitting alone on the bench before the second half at San Mames looking dejected. When he was appointed, we were promised attacking football with actual wingers being picked to increase our attacking options. Japanese winger Asano was tipped to be one of our attacking wide players. Sadly he can’t play any more than an hour now and is injury-prone having hamstring problems five times in 18 months.
The coach has looked recently like he’s lost the dressing room, however in an interview with the Bulletin’s sister publication Ultima Hora, he claims things are going to improve and refuses to lose his smile. He admits that he is experiencing one of the toughest moments of his career and he has trouble sleeping at night. He continues to believe in his players, in himself and in the medium-to-long-term project the club entrusted to him just over a year ago. He went on “Apart from the first game against Barcelona when we were down to nine men after half an hour, in other games no one has beaten us by more than one goal. When I was coach at Osasuna we went 13 games without a win and finished the first half of the season in the relegation zone, although we quickly got out of it. On a daily basis I’m with the people at the club, with the captains, with the players and I feel supported, loved and appreciated. I don’t regret coming here for a moment. In the end it’s a three-year project.” It looks like the club hierarchy have no intention of throwing Arrasate under the bus just yet, so he appears to be untouchable for the moment.
Many Mallorquinistas are wondering how he’s still in his job. Luis Garcia Plaza was sacked in 2022 for one game in the relegation zone. Despite finishing ninth with his defensive back five set-ups and being instrumental in Mallorca reaching the Copa del Rey final, Aguirre was shown the door. Arrasate can have no excuse – how is he any better than Aguirre? Arrasate is the tenth Basque to coach Real Mallorca and not a single one has managed to succeed. Eight were sacked and the other one finished the 1969/70 season with the team being relegated. His contract wasn’t renewed.
One disgruntled fan didn’t mince his words on social media on Wednesday. “Mallorca’s numbers are the worst in La Liga and so are the feelings and level of play. The team are in the midst of a downward spiral and it’s not a process that’s only happening this season. We haven’t taken off since early January after participating in the Super Cup with a terrible run of results. This year’s numbers paint a dire picture of five wins in the last 25 matches played. These are numbers that lead solely and exclusively to relegation.”
AND FINALLY, six retired Jewish Floridian guys are playing poker in their local club when Finkelstein loses 500 dollars on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing, but standing up. At the end of the game Abe Cohen looks around and says “Okay guys, so who’s gonna tell his wife ?” So they cut the cards and Goldberg picks the lowest card meaning he has to be the carrier of bad news to Mrs Finkelstein. He’s told by his fellow poker players to be discreet, gentle and don’t make this tragic situation worse. Goldberg tells them not to worry, “I’m the most discreet person you’ll ever meet, discretion is also my middle name, leave it to me.” He goes over to Finkelstein’s home and knocks on the door. The wife answers and asks him what he wants. Goldberg declares “Your husband has just lost 500 bucks in a poker game and is afraid to come home.” “Tell him to drop dead !” yells his wife. “I’ll go tell him,” says Goldberg.