After a week when I met a guy who works in a bird sanctuary where one of the birds of prey will only exercise at night to 80s music – as he told me “Our kestral manoeuvres in the dark”! – Real Mallorca have another “cup final” when they play away at Cadiz on Sunday afternoon at 2pm. There’ll be a full 21,000 house at their Nuevo Mirandilla stadium, as Cadiz have been giving away free tickets. If the home side lose, the “Yellow Submarine” could sink into La Segunda.
With six games left to play, Mallorca find themselves six points above third-bottom Cadiz and the end of season nerves are set to start jangling again, as the long-suffering faithful have to go through another nightmare scenario as the business end of the season arrives. After finishing in a highly creditable ninth place last season, us Mallorquinistas were expecting a much better campaign this time round. In reality Mallorca are looking at Celta Vigo and Cadiz in their rear view mirror down in the boon-docks.
The lack of goals has proved to be Real Mallorca’s undoing this season as our so-called strike force of Muriqi and Larin have been firing blanks for weeks. Indeed, our “mostly off the bench” third striker, local hero Abdon Prats, headed in the consolation goal at Sevilla on Monday night which makes him our top scorer with six!
Last November Vedat Muriqi missed nine weeks of the season after picking up a nasty calf muscle injury playing for Kosova. Since he’s come back, he’s not been the player he was before his incapacity. Muriqi will chase a piece of paper all day for the cause but he’s lost that sparkle that used to put fear into opposing defences.
His striking partner, the Canadian international Cyle Larin, has been an unmitigated disaster and in football terminology “couldn’t hit a cow’s ar*e with a banjo” and his two goals are a poor return for the 7.5 million we paid for him from second division Valladolid. He’s also one of the highest wage earners in the squad and gets 3.5 million euros. In the second division (probably Larin’s standard) he was a revelation. Between shots on goal and expected goals he’s gone from an average 2.52 at Valladolid to 0.67 at Real Mallorca, managing two goals in 1,528 minutes whereas at Valladolid he scored 8 in 1,478. Stories are coming out that Mallorca are looking for a way out for Larin in the Summer and the club are on the lookout for a replacement. Not only has the player failed to take umpteen chances that were going begging, he allegedly hasn’t adapted well in the locker room. Larin arrived on the island last Summer overweight, which forced the coaching staff to design a special training plan for him.
When he got back to full fitness it became obvious that Larin wasn’t playing up to expectations. He has by far been the player with the most goal chances this season and has only put two away – one a tap in. Selling in the Summer is now a necessity for the club but they’ll have to find someone who wants to buy a striker who doesn’t strike ! Unless, of course, Larin surprises us all and bangs in a hat-trick against Cadiz on Sunday. Between Muriqi, Larin and Abdon, after 32 games they’ve scored 13 goals between them, fortunately it’s our solid defence that is just about keeping our heads above water.
In the January transfer window we brought in a Serbian winger, Nemanja Radonjic, on loan from Serie A side Torino. This guy has done the business at Hertha Berlin, Benfica and Marseille. He’s looked good in patches and brings something new to the table. He hit a great volley against the goal-frame at Seville before being substituted a minute later and always poses a threat when he comes on.
It’s just over two years since 65-year-old Mexican coach Javier Aguirre arrived to save Mallorca from sinking into La Segunda. His speciality in a long coaching career is saving sides from relegation. The club owners seem happy with Aguirre signing a contract extension if he keeps us in the first division, but us fans are not so sure. Many think Aguirre has taken the club as far as he can and his defensive system is beginning to annoy some “socios.”
Aguirre is already part of Mallorca’s history and has apparently refused to sign a new deal until the team are mathematically safe. Allegedly Aguirre has had a very important financial offer from a team in Saudi Arabia and Osasuna want him back, but he’s keeping tight-lipped – let’s see what happens.
And finally
A Greek businessman living in London used to visit a Chinese restaurant every Friday. He also made a point of asking the same waiter what day it was. “Flyday” the waiter replied every time. The Greek would rant “It’s not Flyday, it’s Friday. You should earn to speak the language, you idiot.”
The waiter had enough, he practised and practised until he got it right. On Friday as usual in came the Greek guy and sat down. When he asked the waiter was day it was, the waiter grinned and answered “Today is Friday – you Gleek plick!!”