I wonder if I am the only man of my generation who feels that there is some sort of secret modern conspiracy currently afoot that seeks to baffle and confuse us when undertaking basic and straightforward task in this modern world. Please say that it ain’t just me who finds whole sections of modern life almost impossible to comprehend. For instance, who also finds it really annoying that almost every modern UK supermarket maintains that it is impossible to have an employee sat at a checkout anymore (is this the same as in Mallorca I wonder?) and shoppers are now expected to do-it-themselves. Indeed, just last Thursday I sarcastically asked a young man hovering around the self-service area if he required me to stack some shelves for his supermarket chain, as it seems that this was about the only task that we customers were not expected to undertake at the moment. You think I’m joking don’t you?
Anyway, now that minor irritation is off my chest, perhaps I can flag-up a number of other modern-day annoyances afflicting me and my generation. For instance, I try to embrace ‘new technology’ I really do - well, alright then, I suppose I could try a little bit harder, but that would mean concentrating and listening to what young people tell me and occasionally the odd smart-arse know-all from my own generation. When I talk about supposed new technology, I don’t mean getting involved with Twitter, Instagram or - god forbid, TikTok, just being able to check my bank account online, without getting ‘frozen out’ for some reason or another. Happily, my partner in life is somewhat of a whizz in this regard and it seems that she rather enjoys patronising me over my crass stupidity in all things ‘techi’ and talks to me slowly and loudly when intervening in yet another self inflicted meltdown.
Many people like to think that this sort of technological incompetence is completely age driven, however I beg to differ on this matter. I reckon that for many of us who are completely useless in this area, I’m afraid that age has absolutely nothing to do with it. Take for instance the other day, a group of men of about my vintage had a round table, wine induced conversation, regarding stuff that digitally smart young people would find particularly surprising. Alas, I found myself soon staring vaguely into space, whilst pretending to be taking on board every jot-and-tittle of the rather abstract conversation. Yes, there is no doubt that a younger generation is much more attuned to the technology of today, but that is not the whole story. To my mind, it is much more important regarding the WAY that you think and not merely about the AGE you are when thinking about these modern issues.
Anyway, whatever - all I know is that I still cannot work out how I can check on my bank-account, given the fact I’m particularly hopeless at remembering certain online protocols, which rather limits my ability to monitor my own money. Things have reached such a level of misunderstanding within my mind, that she has offered to link me up with a ‘learning group’ attached to the organisation named (wait for it!) U3A. This stands for ‘University of the Third Age’ which is apparently a body that seeks to educate those of a certain age in everything from how to play Bridge, enjoy learning a new language or perhaps becoming a wiz at cookery - plus much, much, more. I wonder if they have a course which might teach me to embrace the new technology of today and stop me from continuing to be a technophobe with knobs on?