I know that almost a week has passed since King Charles’ Coronation and we are just about to sample the joys of the Eurovision Song Contest - however dear reader, I feel the need to confess to you my deep reservations about both forms of - ahem… public entertainment. Perhaps I should start with Eurovision which in my view was always ‘Naff’ personified. Come on let’s face it - up until last year when Ukraine triumphed and the United Kingdom came a plucky second it was only a segment of our community who thought it was anything other than both being camp as a row of tents and vaguely embarrassing.
Indeed, you could make the case that the real enthusiasts for both forms of public entertainment and royal engagement are very similar indeed. I have to say that in terms of the Kings coronation I’m not sure what unnerved me most, those over-the-top fancy-dressed monarchists both street-side, in Westminster Abbey or whispering softly in makeshift television studios along the processional route. I particularly enjoyed Lord (Nicholas) Soames lofty approach to a question regarding the Kings subjects struggling with eating and heating bills - “Obviously he does’t live in a council hice” conceded Lord Soames, but “but meeting the disadvantaged through the Prince’s Trust keeps him grinded.” Mind you, as bad I reckon, are the usual middle-class ‘rent-a-demo’ crowd who can be relied upon to turn up and shout at events as diverse as coronations and horse race meetings. And without rain-soaked middle-aged matrons in fancy-dress standing roadside as the King & Queen processed back to Buckingham Palace, I reckon the turnout would have been modest to say the least. On the other hand, how many of the ‘Not My King’ crowd making such a noise in Trafalgar Square could be described as downtrodden working class men and women? Not many I’ll warrant. It is as if over the past couple of decades social certainties have both evolved and changed drastically. For a start, it maybe that the social differences between generations nowadays are perhaps higher that it has ever been, particularly over certain subjects such as - race, gender, the environment and government.
However, no such thoughtful analysis can be ascribed to ‘Eurovision’ and all its works, perhaps this is because it isn’t supposed to be anything other than inclusive, jolly, and more than a little embarrassing on occasions - a bit like your average coronation I suppose. Nevertheless, I am always rather surprised by the vehemence of those opposed to the British monarchy as we are often led to believe that royalty for all its supposed irrelevance in the modern world is a powerful tool in the world of ‘soft’ power within international diplomacy. If you were to ask me whether I was a monarchist or not, I would have to side-step that question by answering that - “If it ain’t broke don’t mend it” which has to be a cop-out I know, but with King Charles and the Prince of Wales attempting to reduce the current cast of royal extras I’ll go-along with it for the foreseeable future. However, as for The Eurovision Song Contest, I have to say that I would make it an every five year extravaganza… and most importantly seek to ban countries voting for their neighbours on a quid-pro-quo basis ‘cos it’s not very British is it?