When it comes to serious relationships it helps to share (we are told), whether it’s the housework, cooking, or last slice of cake. And this is also true of personal finances, research has shown. In a worldwide study of nearly 40,000 individuals, it has been found that couples with joint bank accounts tended to have a better and more trusting relationship than those who kept their money separate - and moreover, they were less likely to split up.
Personally, I think that it is okay for academics to pontificate on this sort of thing and to tell all who would listen that it “maximises relationship quality” but, what happens if ‘things’ should turn nasty? Money can be a funny and elusive subject for many modern couples; to share or not to share - that is the question! I’m led to believe (true or not) that many couples do like to keep financially independent from their spouses or life partners. They will typically share mutual bills and expenses, yet at the same time keep their financial independence. This goes for both sexes as mostly we have come a long way from the time when men - and men only, had access to bank accounts and other financial services that are open to all nowadays. Typically most couples rub along happily within a system that suits both parties, but is something as crucial as money and finance best left to individuals in a partnership of all other matters I wonder? Playing devils advocate, I know of disasters that have occurred on either side of this personal and financial divide, because financial impropriety can be as damaging to a relationship as the sexual kind (if not more) and some people seem to revel in the minutia of monetary brinkmanship.
As a fairly normal sort of man in a hopefully well balanced relationship, I have been very surprised by people telling me over the years, just how they financially arrange their marriage/relationship for the good of both parties. Putting aside the traditional and imaginary boozy and gambling addicted husband and the spendthrift wife, surely there has to be a huge amount of mutual trust and reliance upon one another when it comes to money accrued and the way it is spent? Better that, than the way that these things used to be arranged within marriages not that long ago. For instance, I have an elderly female relative who tells me that her husband right up to the time of his death 20 years ago, never told her how much he earned in his job of forty-five years, nor - details of his bank account. She told me that this was absolutely normal at that time and went right on until just before he died. Funnily enough in my own experience, women have a capacity for shrewd financial management that many men boast of - but, few have the capacity to actually deliver. However, as someone who shares all joint financial and monetary information with a woman of my acquaintance, I know who is the best equipped to financially manage our affairs in any detail. But don’t tell my mates!
A HAPPY EASTER - REALLY?
I know that I shouldn’t say it, but one of the most annoying of greetings this past week is that catch-all phrase - Happy Easter. I know I shouldn’t be such a pedant and miserable sod, but come on really, the early part of Easter (Good Friday) is traditionally no time to feel happy now is it? I don’t like to appear ungrateful, but as I was taught years ago, Good Friday was both the holiest day of the year and signified the death on a cross of Jesus Christ, so where did all this Happy Easter stuff come from then? Indeed, here in middle England it is just another excuse for retail over-indulgence unlike the time my mother wouldn’t even let us kids play outside on such an important holy day. Happily, I understand that in Mallorca it still tries to adhere to some sort of religious observation, whilst here it seems to be just a sign that signifies the start of the spring retail season. Yes, I may overstate my case, but to all intents and purpose I’m right aren’t I?
NOISY FILM TRAILERS - I HATE ‘EM!
As our Irish friends would have it - going to see ‘Fillums’ nowadays is not as laid-back as it once was. I do try to watch as many films as I possibly can, given my role as the MDB’s resident film critic, but that isn’t always easy, or I have to say, enjoyable as it may seem. Many of the films that I watch are okay in some degree or another, but mostly - hardly inspiring. Then there is the whole experience of watching modern movies in the cinemas that show them here in the UK. As I am well past my ‘salad days’ it seems to me that most films available for viewing are specifically designed for an audience of 14 year old spotty male teenagers in the American mid-west.
Indeed, as I sat watching some ‘trailers’ whilst waiting to see ‘Operation Mincemeat’ just the other day, my ears almost bled under a noisy assault from a number of these ghastly filmic introductions. So much so, that I went into the rather empty foyer and complained to the nearest person who looked like he had something to do with the running of the place.
His blank look and a shoulder shrug convinced me that my irritation was wasted on that young man and so I went back to my seat chuntering aloud in my annoyance - but, what can one do? If you weren’t deaf before entering the place, you certainly would be on leaving it, that’s what I say.