Dear Sir, ANDREW Ede's letter on Jeremy Clarkson and all things Top Gear I found enlightening, but not so surprising. I do not normally watch the programe, men of a certain age, with schoolboy humour and stringy long hair are not worth a second look, until one realises that off a race track these 200'000 pounds 200/250 mph cars are a sadly waste of fun and money when used on regular roads with a 70mph/120kph limit. Burning rubber and racing around a track can as easily be seen with Formula One, etc. How frustrating it must be to own one of these super cars, rather like owning a race horse, restricted to only walking/trotting it! On one occasion it was pre-announced that they would be testing a diesel fuelled Jaguar, so I thought to see that. Jeremy Clarkson had the car taken to Germany, to a special track which ran through woods to test drive it. The track was part owned by an attractive German lady who sent him on his way, telling him of the average lap speed. Clarkson set off and finished well over the average time. The lady could not understand this, so accompanied him on his second run, again way off the time. This track was used by regular motorists, and this time the lady (as passenger) said something to Clarkson like: What are you doing! She then took the wheel and cut the average time substantially, so leaving Clarkson with some egg on his face! Hopefully, the footage shot of the countryside/sea areas in this programe, showing Majorca in the sun during March will prove appealing to viewers, the people his brand of humour appeals to. I would personally not miss meeting.
Yours sincerely
Graham Phillips
Dear Sir
FOR those of you who have not read Jeremy Clarkson's piece in this week's Sunday Times it might interest you that he says there are three rules of life, particularly the third being, do not, under any circumstances become an expat.
I don't think it is necessary to elaborate on his stereotype description of the local expats that he encountered on his latest visit here and, unless you do have a large, barnacled nose from drinking gin by the pint from breakfast time or you are one of the women he described as being made of leather, you would probably be a trifle miffed at his wicked caricatures.
I would like to offer a fourth rule of life. Do not, even sozzled with gin, try to brown-nose a deliciously sarcastic celebrity like him! It is better to have deliberately stayed away from where you might have bumped into him.
View from afar if you really must but don't push up to the front. So, if you actually had a close encounter with Mr petrol-head, I advise you not to boast about it or you will always be thought of as one of the poor souls he wrote about! Yours
John Rule, Sol de Mallorca